I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
