The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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