Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
