halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
These tits shall not be calmed
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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