If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
