did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
