Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize