You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
