I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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