he shaved USA in his pubs
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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