Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
this just has baby written all over it
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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