Non-Jews are for practice
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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