my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
