cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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