So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
