i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize