the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
