Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
