Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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