his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
