nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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