Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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