I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
