gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
