So drunk, too bad you don't want this
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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