Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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