shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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