My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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