I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
