based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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