One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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