nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
