Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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