We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
