Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I want to fling myself into the sun
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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