I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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