Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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