hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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