Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
