Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
