Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
