no, he came in my armpit
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
