4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
There are leaves in my underwear?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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