New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize