i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Randomize
