you didnt know i had herpes?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize