I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
