On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
3 2 1 whiskey
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
You left your phone here
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