he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
