I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i barfeds in our rink
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You can't just leave with hair like that
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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