That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
