You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
operation harelip BJ is a go
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
