I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
