Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
