Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
