well I can't set my house on fire every night
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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