I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
