Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
