Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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