I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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