have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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